"Perfect Pitch"

The American Heritage Dictionary defines Perfect Pitch as:

"The ability to identify any pitch heard or produce any pitch referred to by name."

Some people have it, and it's really an amazing/creepy talent to witness. Most people don't (less than 1% of the population actually has it). A lot of people think they have it, which makes music classes obnoxious as shit.

Professors like to play games with their students by saying things like: "Okay, we're starting this song on E, can anyone give me an E off the top of their head (i.e. does anyone have perfect pitch here)?" As a rule, the correct answer to this question is "No." There are three exceptions to this rule:

1. You're at a music conservatory
2. You're mentally handicapped
3. You're a music snob jackass

The first two are excusable, but the third turns any reasonable educational experience into a tedious cacophony:

"Can anyone give me an E?"
"OH YEAH!! LAAAHHAH...AAAH...AAAAH...HAAA?"
"We'll just use the piano."

What happened was a TOTALLY UNNECESSARY interaction between the professor who knows what he's talking about, and a clueless, pompous student who is trying to showboat for the rest of the class.

You don't have perfect pitch, so shut the fuck up and let the professors teach the goddamn classes.

Students suck.