Growing up Sucks Balls.

I hate growing up so much. The benefits totally outweigh the rewards. Since I know most people just scan blogs, I'll write this up in an easy-to-follow list of bullshit...

First the positives of growing up and why they really mean shit anyway:

1.
Positive: Your 18th and 21st birthdays. Time for cigarettes, porn, and booze!
Why it means shit: News flash fuckwads, I was partaking in all of that shit when I was 16. It's not like it's that goddamned hard to procure this shit. Cigarettes I got from my senior friend; a five year old kid could find porn. Don't believe me? Go to google image search and type in almost any word you can think of. BOOM, anything you could imagine someone doing to their or someone else's body for pleasure. Alcohol? Try the parents' liquor cabinet or even better, just go out and buy it yourself! Shit, get a little 5 o'clock shadow, pick up a bottle of Jack like you do this sort of thing in your sleep. Or get a fake ID. This is easy fucking shit.

2.
Positive: No more pencils, no more books, no more teachers dirty looks... Schools over and you're now the master of your own destiny.
Why it means shit: Welcome to the real world, douche. Master of your own destiny? You're gonna be waiting tables, so fuck you and your excited 'tude.

3.
Positive: ummm.... nothing else good comes to mind.


Now for the negative things:

1. Losing your girlish figure
2. Losing your boyish agility
3. Losing your friends who move somewhere else to do their thing (good for them for doing what they want, but it's a drag)
4. Realizing that you will never be able to do the things you assumed you would when you grew up. (aka adios fireman)
5. Increasing indifference towards the rest of the world
6. People your age start having babies/dying/doing those things you never expected them to do when you were younger
7. Fuck it. This list is depressing and I'm sure you two readers get my point by now. Sorry to be a downer. I'll come up with something more uplifting next time. I'm gonna go play video games and eat chocolate.

Wonder when my cockslap cohort is going to start posting on here with me again.

Sorry I didn't put any pictures in this post. Blogs without pictures blow, but I'll make it up to you in some way (that doesn't violate blogspot's TOS).